Back to Choir

So this morning was a tough one. As some may know, I sing with the choir at church. This was the first service since Chris passed that I have gotten up to sing the anthem with them again. I wasn’t thinking, of course,  and it also happened to be the first Sunday the kids have attended since Chris’s service. I guess I should have thought it through a little bit more. Emma had a tough time. I guess some of the words Leslie (our incredible pastor) said in her sermon hit something in Em and she wasn’t prepared for it and it caught her off guard. I was sitting and hugging her and then it was time to get up, after the peace, and sing the anthem. SUPER emotional. To see my kids sitting in the pews by themselves…….ugh.

I was grateful when Leslie came down during the anthem and sat with them but then it also choked me up more. I’m hoping that we will find a way to allow me to be able to sing with them consistently again. It’s so hard because I want to be down with my kids also.

I was remembering to my first service back after Chris passed (it was a few weeks ago, the kids had stayed home). It was really hard. I cried a lot. My heart was just so full for Emma today and remembering how difficult it had been for me.
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